


Phantom Limb

by ruruie



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Bisexual Johnny Silverhand, F/M, I just be loving these cyberpunk men, I may be a Vik fucker but I can appreciate Johnny too, PWP without Porn, Porn with Feelings, Vaginal Sex, but it is, just wanna make that clear as well, kinda vanilla, the deep connection of a woman and her live in brain man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28113297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruruie/pseuds/ruruie
Summary: V isn't the type of person to open up to anyone, and she resisted getting close to the person who now lived in her head. But, that doesn't go as planned.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V
Comments: 7
Kudos: 348





	Phantom Limb

**Author's Note:**

> The sex is kind of that rough fuck, but I cannot help but add in a reason to fuck, and in this case it's an emotional connection. Oh, and there's a Grinch reference? It's the holiday season, I'm adding it in.

“You ever been in love, Johnny-boy?” 

The question seemed to have come out of nowhere, but V supposed that wasn’t really true. Their minds had been melded together, blurring the lines between what was hers and what was his. Something in his mind, maybe hers (she didn’t know), was thinking about that question. Pulled at her, nagged, until she asked. 

Johnny was sitting on her couch, she was lying on her bed. Turning her head to look at him, his face was unreadable from beneath his sunglasses, but she could almost feel him lost in thought. Even though he lived (rent free, she might add) in her head, he was still an enigma, and she was unsure where everything began and ended. The chip was certainly doing its work at this point. 

“Don’t you have access to my fucking memories? Can’t you look and see for yourself?” Snarky as always, but V was undeterred. 

“Uh, not sure if you’ve forgotten, but I don’t have access to everything. If I did I wouldn’t bother asking you questions.” She rolled her eyes, shifting to sit up in the bed, back against the little wall of her nook. “And before you say ‘it’s none of your fucking business,’ or ‘does it even matter,’ shit, I’m just curious. Ain’t got nothing to do with anything.” V thought her Johnny impression was spot on, having had practice mocking him in the down time between jobs and finding the answers on how to get the chip out. 

“Then why even ask? It’s not relevant to shit.” He was getting noticeably tense, arms crossing over his chest, obscuring his dog tags. This was certainly a touchy subject, but V still had the itch. The need to know. 

“Fuck, man, can’t I just get to know you? This is just one of those conversations you have at, oh, I dunno,” she looked at the clock, which read 3:49 AM, “almost 4 AM. Ever been to a sleep over? This is what happens.” 

“Oh, so having my fucking engram in your head is just a glorified sleepover?” He was fucking insufferable, always avoiding questions. It made V roll her eyes to the back of her head, so exaggerated she hoped Johnny could feel it. 

“Just answer the fucking question!” 

His laugh made her blood boil a little, thinking that he was just going to leave it there when she had this overwhelming desire to know. “Yeah, I have. Think our minds are more connected than before. I was just thinking about it, actually.” 

Makes sense, she figured, why she had that pressing desire. “Hmm, maybe I’m just psychic. Never know. Was she --”

“He.” 

“Ah – he, really that amazing?” 

“I think so,” Johnny shrugged, taking his sunglasses off and hooking them to the front of his vest. “I was real fucking enamored with the guy. Then we fell out of love, and I moved on to the next slab of ass. Fell in love with her too. Then the next. Hell, I just seem to love a lot. Didn’t matter much what they had under their clothes, only if they seemed like a good time and a good fuck.”

V laughed a little, only stopping when Johnny glared at her. Covering her mouth, she smirked under her hand. “Sorry, kind of expected a more dramatic story. Didn’t think you’d be the kind of guy to just throw his love around. Cock, sure. But not love.” 

Johnny shrugged, looking at the TV screen, not really watching anything. V only ever had it on for background noise, a little afraid of the silence after being in the city for so long. “Guess you don’t know me as well as you think. What about you, V? If we’re getting personal, might as well open up too.” 

“Me?” V bit the inside of her lip, chewing the flesh in nervous habit. “Uhhhh...damn I guess that is personal. Shit...” Playing with her hair, V thought back to before everything that happened. Before her life got turned upside down. 

“Yeah...once, actually. Not that it went anywhere. I think it was a one sided thing. But, I obsessed over it for a while. Don’t get very close to people, my lifestyle before this, and especially fucking now, doesn’t really allow me to fall in love. Too dangerous, and too time consuming. Only person...”

She didn’t finish, and she hoped to hell Johnny wasn’t listening in. Johnny was the only person who had been with her long enough, who knew her, and in turn allowed her to know him, to form any real bond. Of course she had friends in Night City, and of course she was close enough to them, but nothing deep. Nothing that warranted those soft feelings that blossom late at night, when the only thing on her mind was them. 

“Only person close enough is me?” Fuck, Johnny probably heard. And if he didn’t he was definitely smarter than he looked. 

“Yeah. I guess so. Benefit of living in my head is that you get to see my fucked up life, and my fucked up mind.”

Johnny laughed, getting up and strolling over to the bed, pacing in front of it. He never stood still, and V couldn’t blame him. His head always screamed at her that he felt like he was never meant to have much time on Earth. Like he would die young and in a fire. He was right, of course, and so to have a second chance at something probably made him more jittery than he was previously. 

“How edgy of you to say. Kinda cringe, V. But, yeah, I see a lot of it. You’re not that bad, you just don’t wanna let people close.” 

“Not here for a psych eval, thanks,” V sighed, putting her hands behind her head, reclining it back until her hands hit the wall and she was looking up at the ceiling, “but doesn’t love hurt? Doesn’t it mean you get your heart broken?”

Johnny sat down on the bed, foot resting on the opposite knee, leg bobbing up and down. “Think I’m the fucking love expert?” 

“You, literally, just said you fell in love with a ton of people. Sounds like expertise to me.” 

He laughed again, flopping back down on the mattress. His body wasn’t physical, but V swore she could feel the mattress dip, the weight of him so real to her. Sardonic and callous, hearty and oddly serene, he seemed so real, even if his brain was coded onto a chip lodged in her head. 

“Or is the ‘love’ you experienced just another code for lust? Something to shove your, quote, ‘impressive cock’ into?” V’s guess was likely the correct answer. 

“Now, that’s harsh. Who’s to say I didn’t really love them and use them as a piece of fuckable meat? Don’t see how that’s exclusive.”

“Of course you wouldn’t, you prick.” 

Silence fell between them, V lost in thought. She was so hung up on the idea of love at the moment, and she really couldn’t place why. Losing her sense of self, the barrier between her and what wasn’t her was just so strange. Thinking back, she had to wonder if it would be as scary as everyone said it was, being so inseparable from Johnny. 

He wasn’t that bad of a person, she supposed. Okay, yes he totally was. Johnny Silverhand is a miserable son of a bitch, someone so concerned with his misery and ideals that he may have lost himself, willing to do whatever it took to get to the end, including wiping V herself from the face of the Earth. But, he wasn’t a bad person to live with. Something tugged at him, she could feel it, to always have someone near, never being alone or learning to live with himself. It was probably why he felt he was in love with whatever person gave him the time of day. 

V felt pretty similar. She, too, was a miserable son of a bitch, willing to do whatever it took to get the job done. Her response to it all was just different; isolation and distance was a better option than opening herself up to someone, even in a small capacity. A short romance was way riskier than a quick fuck, and she just...she couldn’t do it. 

Maybe she was curious about Johnny because he seemed so familiar and so foreign, and so too was his relationship to love and people. So different from hers, but coming from the same space. 

And in a way, she felt understood, and she understood him. It was so frightening, yet not, and she couldn’t really come to grips with what was happening around her. Closing her eyes, she tried to think more, sorting through everything, and maybe drifting off to sleep in the process. Mile a minute, she tried to make heads or tails of everything going on. There was a person living in her head, a man who was a stranger, a close friend, a part of her all at once. He was kept at arm’s length away from him, but also he was right there in her psyche. He knew nothing and everything all at once. And she in turn knew everything and nothing about him. She wanted more, and she wanted less. Afraid, brave, curious, repulsed. 

What were her real feelings? Did she have any? Were they just implanted on her, a type of Stockholm Syndrome from a chip? Could she even recognize them if she tried? Did she even like him?

That last one was easy; she did really, really like him. Having him here, even now with the phantom weight on the bed, was comforting in a way. She was no longer alone, no longer had to wonder when someone would come around to be near her for more than a few minutes. And he couldn’t be ripped away from her, at least right now, like Jackie had. Like so many before him had. His personality was shit, but that was okay. She could take it, and he seemed to like the fact she could take it. Yeah, she really liked him.

Maybe even learning to lo – 

“Oh ew!” Sitting straight up, she shook like a wet dog. “Oh fuck no!” Shaking again, she tried to get the thought out of her head. Did she just..? Nope, no she did not. And prayed to whatever god was listening that Johnny didn’t snoop on that thought. 

“The fuck is wrong with you? Have a nightmare or something?” Johnny was still lying there, not moving, unbothered by it all. 

“You could say so. Fucking terrifying to me.” V did not like where her mind was going, and she did not want to admit the fact that she was starting to grow fond of her brain tumor. A terrorist brain tumor. Who did save her life. Who indulged her in conversation. Who gave her pretty solid advice and made some killer music. 

Ah, nope. Not going there again. 

“V, we can keep our thoughts private.” 

“I’m well fucking aware of that, Johnny.”

“Apparently not. Your thoughts are coming in loud and fucking clear.”

V’s heart stopped, and were it not for Johnny’s chip it may not have restarted. Sucking in a breath, it came out in a long groan, awaiting her fate. He was never going to let this go. The endless teasing, the taunting, snide remarks, and overcharged jokes, all at her expense. 

“Shit, damn, fuck...Uuugh!” Fists balled, V slammed them into the bed, frustrated about the slip up. “Johnny, for the love of all that’s holy, PLEASE ignore that. Just pretend I did not think that.” 

The construct sat up, smirked at her, eyes narrowing to look her up and down. “Baby, that’s not happening. You let something mighty juicy slip through. Care to explain that?” 

“Bite me, fucker.” V gritted her teeth, predicting what would happen to her. “I’m not saying shit.”

“Play your cards right and I might bite you.” His smirk grew wider, the distance between them growing smaller, closing the distance between their bodies. “All you gotta do is explain yourself.” 

A pillow was thrown in his direction, but it only hit the wall of the nook. He wasn’t real, and that made V oddly sad, even though she should be relieved he couldn’t run around, bragging to whomever would listen. 

“Kiss my ass, I’m not talking.” 

“Again, play those cards.” He moved to sit on the bed next to her, leaning back against the wall, just as she was doing previously before her slip up. 

“Johnny, come on, please don’t make me talk about it. You never fucking open up about anything, why should I?” 

“You don’t want it to be a thing then, huh? Your feelings?” 

“Shut it.” 

“See, this is what I’m talking about. Won’t let anyone through. Stoic V, always gotta keep her feelings out of it. That won’t bring anyone back, and it’ll certainly push people away. Want to be alone all your fucking life? Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but for the foreseeable future you’re stuck with me. Bottle that shit up all you want, but I’ll know it’s there. You’ll know it’s there.” 

As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. She did not, under any circumstances, to be really seen, to be known. To be close to someone. But, he wasn’t going anywhere. And if he did go somewhere, it probably wasn’t going to be in another body. Either he’d be removed from hers or take it over. 

“Fine, you want me to open up to you first, so be it. Want to know why you got the itch to ask me if I’d ever fallen in love?” Johnny’s voice was a tad fuzzy, but it was clear enough for V to understand it and nod, not sure if she wanted to know the answer, but she had nothing to lose. 

“Because I think I’m learning what it’s like to really care about someone other than myself. That’s the beginning of love, isn’t it? So, mind telling me about your own feelings.” 

Screwing her eyes closed, she filled her lungs to the brim, holding the air there for a bit. No, she didn’t actually want to continue, but knowing that he, maybe, felt the same was comforting. 

“I don’t think I’m really ready to talk about it. Never really had to before. Last time this happened I kept it in, like I said. But...” she reached over, grabbed the hand only she could feel. An illusion her brain conjured up, but it felt real to her. The metal making her skin feel slightly chilled, and the light squeeze it gave back was reassuring. 

“Sometimes words aren’t needed, you know?” 

He knew. His fleshed hand reached over, cupping her cheek, pulling her closer to him where their lips met together. Heart racing, V leaned back, moving his body to hover over her, their lips never disconnecting. The kiss was strange, her knowing that if someone walked in they’d think she was in some seriously intense BD, but then again that’s almost what it felt like. Just, a little more enticing. His lips, they were rough. Stubble brushed against her, his groan when she bit his bottom lip sounded so real. God bless technology. Too bad Arasaka was the one who made this one. 

Her tongue entered his mouth, and it tasted of nicotine and spirits, a remnant of his real self she supposed. On his knees, he opened her legs to slot himself between them, her pelvis pressed against him, his hands rubbing the skin around her hips. She was thankful this was happening at 4 AM, V dressed in the short tank top and loose pants she wore to bed, just so she could feel him better. Her arms raised up to tangle around his neck, pulling him in closer. He only broke the kiss to press his lips to her cheek, down her jaw, and buried his face in her neck, small kisses and licks placed to the sensitive flesh there. Small noises escaped her lips, moving one hand to thread it through his hair, playing with the soft locks. 

“You know, V, for once I don’t see my partner as nothing more than a good fuck. Not that you wouldn’t be, but shit...I think my little Grinch heart grew three sizes today.” V laughed at that, only before a soft bite brought her back to mewling. 

“Such an outdated reference. But...fuck why is that doing things to me?” 

“Heh, you like my shit. Don’t deny it.” She couldn’t, so she began trying to get his clothes off, realizing it was a fruitless endeavor when his image faded, returning with him shirtless, dog tags still on. A shiver ran up her spine as Johnny’s metal hand snaked its way up her shirt, fingers caressing the skin near her ribs. Such a tender action from a man who describes his partners as meat. 

Palming one breast, he chuckled, almost buried under the keening V was doing. “Nice. Always knew these would feel nice. Under my hand is even better.” Pinching the nipple through the fabric, V raised her back up, a small squeal let out. 

“You’re so rough, Johnny,” her voice was airy, breathless. 

“Don’t see you complaining.” Tweaking it roughly again, he did the same action with the other hand, softly caressing her side before pinching the nipple near it. Hips ground against him, and V smirked feeling him grow hard under his pants. If things went right, she’d like to fuck like this, him sitting back and her thrown back, his hands on her hips, thrusting into her hard. 

“Thought’s coming in loud and clear again, V. That’s one way I’d like to take you. Think you can manage a few positions?” 

“Mmmhmm, yeah. I think so.” V writhed beneath him, breasts being palmed and twisted, neck kissed and bitten. If he was real, she’d have hickeys all along the places his mouth has gone, only lifting up to allow her remove her tank top and sports bra. His eyes scanned her torso, eyebrow twitching up. 

“Damn, I can’t believe I overlooked this.”

“The hell are you talking about,” V pulled him back down, lips desperate to be on him, or have his lips on her, either one was fine.

“Never ogled you in the shower, but fuck, I should have.” Wasn’t the most romantic thing, but V didn’t care. His lips were back on her in a heated kiss, sloppy and wet, and her hands were busy removing her pants, Johnny’s own probably gone by now. One benefit to this was she didn’t have to fumble with his clothing, only with her own. 

A thumb pressed to her clit, making her gasp into the kiss, grinding against him, feeling the distinctness of an erection against her. She didn’t really know how this was going to work, the need for extended foreplay probably gone, but she wanted to be sure. So, she let him play with her a bit, loving the feeling of the metal thumb against her. It was different, and the soft hum of the electrical components added a nice touch. Hips rolled against each other, Johnny bucking back, his low rumbles spurring her on. 

Hand reaching down past his, V took him in her hand, pumping him slowly, thumb rubbing the precum over the tip. “Can I stick it in?”

“Baby, I thought you’d never ask.” Confirmation acquired, V lined the tip to her entrance, hips moving forward to seat him inside her, long moan coming from her as she did. There wasn’t much friction, but the stretch, the sensation, all felt like the real deal. Johnny leaned back, his eyes squarely on where he was entering her, biting his lip as he watched. 

“Such a pretty pussy...Love the idea of this angle, I can look as I,” he moved to pull out before slamming into her, making V almost scream, the feeling rough and raw, “do that. Fuck that’s a nice look.”

Hips rolling and bucking, V wanted more friction, loving the feeling of him leaving and entering her, metal thumb going back to playing with her. Made her roll her eyes back, primal noises coming from her, ones even the most skilled joytoy couldn’t bring out. 

“Johnny! Fuck, rougher, please! I wanna feel you!” For his own part, Johnny looked like he was enjoying watching himself fuck her, eyes still squared on her most intimate places, his own primal grunts mixing with hers. 

“Rougher? V, if you had been around when I was still a person, still alive, shit...May not have had to blow up Arasaka tower. Coulda just,” his thrusts grew rougher, hands moving to press her thighs back against her torso, him leaning over her to get in deeper, forgoing watching himself, “fucked all my frustrations away.” 

“Haaa – shit! Yes!” V ran her fingernails down his back, marking skin that was not really there, trying to squirm and fuck him back from under his grip. “Pussy that good? Gotta say – mmm, shit – thought that impressive cock comment was a joke. It’s really fucking not.” 

“Damn straight!” Johnny laughed a little, taking one hand off her to play with her clit again, the lazy movements coupled with the rough thrusts doing wonders for her. Everything was coming in fast, pressure building, her moans turning more into crying begs for release. 

“Change of plans. We’ll have time to fuck around more later, kinda wanna finish like this. You look so damn good pressed under me, all mine.” V just nodded, trying her best to hold it together for a while longer, loving that feeling of teetering on release, but holding it back. “Gonna come for me soon, baby? Gonna let Johnny make you his?” 

“Yes, yes, fuck yes!” His thumb was working quicker, making V’s attempts to hold everything back even harder, her noises on full volume, screaming into the air of her apartment, neighbors be damned. 

“Good girl. I’m so, so fucking close V.” His lips were back on her neck, breathing hot onto her skin, his own thrusts becoming rougher, sloppier. All it was becoming too much, and V was finally pushed over the edge, voice stuttering as she came, clenching around Johnny, body shaking from the orgasm. And he wasn’t far behind, spilling into her with a loud yell, biting into her shoulder by the end of it. Both stayed together for a while, panting and holding the other, not wanting to separate. 

Not that they needed to. His weight was unrealistically light, and V just held him to her, loving the phantom sensation of his body on, in, hers. For tonight, he didn’t have to leave.

“You’re taking this single body thing a little too literal. Gonna let me roll off?” Johnny sounded tired for once, not really all there, and certainly not meaning all that he said. 

“Sorry, nope. Gotta deal. I’m holding you while I sleep, deal with it.” V pulled the covers over them, snuggling in, holding Johnny to her neck. “Got no warning that I’m a cuddler?” 

Johnny laughed, kissing her neck again lightly, the place slowly becoming his new favorite spot. “Nah, not something you let me know. Guess I’m stuck.” 

V nodded and hummed, playing with his hair again as she drifted off to sleep, an orgasm better than any over the counter sleeping aids. “You are...Be there in the morning? Won’t fuck and leave?” He laughed again, shaking his head. 

“Wouldn’t leave even if I could. Don’t think I want to.” 

At the end of this whole thing, V hoped, somewhere deep inside, she could keep Johnny her with her, in her head. Calling on him any time she wanted, her lover never far from her. It was comforting to know that he couldn’t leave her behind, possessive as it was. But he was not a constant, and fuck, if she didn’t crave that. Holding there at night, she slept peacefully for the firs time in a while, pleased that when she woke up he was still there, eyes open and smiling back up at her.


End file.
